Tantra is about being totally present – noticing the small things. Noticing how your body feels, noticing smells, sights, everything around and inside you. There is no need to analyze the past or think about the future – only to notice what is present in this very moment.
In the western world, tantra usually refers to tantric sex. Bringing tantra into your bedroom will change your life. Not only will it change your perception of sex, but may also change the way you go about your daily life. Expect a deeper connection with your partner and, an awareness of things that you may never have noticed before.
In tantra, the goal of sex is not orgasm. It is not even about intercourse. Tantric sex is about about being totally present with your partner, totally in your body, totally focused on sensation, leaving thoughts and concerns outside the bedroom.
Have you ever stopped pumping away during intercourse to just be inside your partner, to notice the electricity that flows between you? Have you melted into your partners body and felt your chakras merge? To many, this sounds silly, but I find the subtle sensations to be mind bending.
When my partner moves too fast, I involuntarily contract the muscles in the pelvic floor to reduce the sensation – because is too much. Although it is not painful, my body registers it as pain.
The clitoris contains approximately 8,000 nerve endings – imagine stroking, touching, or just directing energy to that small organ -slowly – so that your partner can feel the slightest movement – to allow her to focus on her body so that even a slight breeze provides pleasure.
Imagine how your sex life might change if you no longer felt pressure to give your partner an orgasm? What if she or he could just relax and enjoy the sensations for an hour or two? Try it – you might discover heights of pleasure so much greater that what you typically experience as orgasm.
This book helped me to understand how to relax into pleasure. For the first time ever, I do not feel that I have to “do” something during sex. The results have been mind blowing -for me and my partners.